Non-Linear Paths - 015

*Dots in triangular pattern by unknown source*

Hi there {FirstName},

Big news in our house. This month, Golda went from two naps down to one. For most of you, this is not that exciting. Actually, even for me, it’s not that exciting. It means more activity planning, less downtime to rest and clean, and earlier bed times. It has also meant sleep regression.

For the non-parents, sleep regression is that thing where parents think that their kid is finally sleeping through the night. And then said kid decides to wake up at 11pm until 3am for a week. Just because. It happens about every 2 or 3 months.

A child’s brain develops asynchronously. Big growth in one area means a temporary regression in another. As they learn to walk, their language skills might lag slightly. While they learn about object permanence and their own independence (that’s where Golda is right now… lots of “no!”), sleep might be disrupted. This is normal. She’ll emerge with a more regular sleep pattern and show new signs of development.

Growth requires relapse.

It’s a great reminder for all of us, thinking about the state of the world and the state of our country. It often feels dire and hopeless, scary and gruesome. Daily. But maybe we’re going through a regression. The optimist in me is saying that just like a baby, in order for progress to happen, maybe we need a moment of backwards motion...

The paths that we’re on are not always direct. Sometimes we go backwards to go forwards. Sometimes our journeys are cyclical, returning where we started but with a new perspective. Sometimes, it’s pure chaos. Let’s talk about the non-linear paths in our lives.

Happy snacking.

I. Cyclical Thinking

Learning to surf, I first believed that it was like riding a bike. And sure, the metaphor of not forgetting how to do it is true. But the biggest difference that quickly became apparent is that every ride leads to a fall, no matter how good I get. As the wave approached I would paddle to match its speed, it would lift me up, I’d stand up and ride as it crashed and swallowed me.

Waves are cyclical. Increase, crest, decrease, trough. And repeat. Our world is full of cycles. Moon cycles. Hormonal cycles. Seasons. Sleep. Time.

But our culture is obsessed with linear thinking: step by step guides to better, more, bigger. We’re used to seeing progress as following a win with a bigger win. So we’re surprised when things in our lives don’t follow that linear progression:

•Relationships don’t always get better and better. There are times of unhappiness and resentment, growth and independence. Regressions aren’t reasons to leave, they’re indicators of a cycle.

•Creativity often comes in waves of inspiration and breakthroughs and then creative blocks.

•Sustaining hard work requires rest. (But because we follow cultural values that promote overworking and under-resting, the idea of slowing down, taking time off, or even sleeping becomes counter to the capitalistic pursuit of greatness through work.)

It’s in our nature to project and predict. And it can feel great to forecast our lives growing upward and ever-expanding on a linear path. Every year, more passport stamps. Every move, a bigger house. Each lease, a better car. New job, higher salary.

But that’s not how most things actually work. We don’t have to tie our happiness or definitions of success to linear growth. Cyclical thinking could be going back to a place we’ve already visited in order to go deeper. Choosing to downsize our house to live more financially comfortable. Taking a pay cut for a job that will actually make us happier and have more time.

Cyclical thinking can be comforting when things don’t go perfectly, or when we make a choice that might feel “backwards.” Backwards only exists in linear thinking. On a long enough timeline, there’s always an ebbing after expansion.

Our lives are the waves we ride. Sometimes we luck into good timing and drop into to an epic wave before tumbling. And then resetting ourselves and getting up again. Sometimes the next set comes quickly and we ride another, sometimes we have to wait in the calm.

But, thinking cyclically, there is always another wave coming from the horizon to lift us.

II. Chaos Theory in Career Paths

This month, I reconnected with someone from high school. We weren’t friends then, but he posted on LinkedIn two weeks ago and it made me reach out to propose a business partnership.

It’s been said that most of us will meet upwards of 10,000 people in our lives. Likely more. Each of those people add to the noise in an infinite sea of data points in our lives. Its chaos. It’s impossible to know which one will lead to a job, a marriage, lifelong friendship, heartbreak, betrayal, mentorship…

I’m far from being an expert in chaos theory but there are two principles I do understand. The first is that in a chaotic system, there is no simple cause-and-effect patterns; everything is a result of multiple, unpredictable forces. The weather is a great example of this.

The second principle is there are patterns amid the chaos. Order, while impossible to forecast, does emerge over time.

Our career trajectories can be better understood through chaos theory. No simple cause-and-effect. Over the course of our lifetime, we will meet people that might consider us for a job or introduce us to someone pivotal. But because we happened to email at the right time or recently posted on Instagram, the forces of the universe collide into a dream job offer. Or an investment. Or business partner. There is no way to predict outcomes.

We’re constantly looking for patterns to emerge amid our career. Most people I know (myself included) look back on our last 5-10 years of work and re-edit our story. We try and summarize the patterns by (re)defining ourselves– either through a new bio, LinkedIn title, our website, or resume.

Our resume! What better example of shoehorning a chaotic system into a linear framework than our resume? Chronological. Bulleted accomplishments. The expectation that each role is more senior than the last, salary has been linear, and that gaps between jobs are minimal or explainable.

The resumes of the future will be far from linear stories. They will chart the chaotic paths to our present, they will embrace the integration of work into the rest of our lives, they will weave the thread of work together with the threads of travel, relationships, learning, and creativity.

Our careers are unpredictable, non-linear, chaotic systems. Rather than try and plan the whole thing, what if we just chose what we want to learn next, what kind of environment we can focus in, and what kinds of people we work with best?

Because the rest is just noise.

*Photograph of* *The Sky Trail* by *Boys Play Nice*

III. The Swerve

In 2012, I took a week-long trip to Peru to see the ruins of Machu Picchu. Of course I made spreadsheets and custom maps and Google docs about the best restaurants and things to do from Lima to Cusco. After weeks and weeks of planning I finally arrive, and the worst possible thing happened…no wifi.

So here I am in Peru, a Google Drive full of things to do, and no way to access it. Luckily I wrote down my hotel information and printed out my train tickets. But for almost a full week, I’m relying on my memory to direct me.

The first day, I happen upon a really fun bar where I make conversation with the bartender who tells me about a great, but not so well-known restaurant. There, I try some of the most incredible dishes of corn and coconut and cuy (when in Lima…). Over the course of 3 days in Cusco, I run into the same woman 3 times at different coffee shops and restaurants and start up a conversation with her. I still keep in contact with Becky today and just saw her a couple months ago when she was visiting NYC.

More than the impact of seeing the ancient city or the awe-inspiring view after climbing the mountain Huyana Picchu, my biggest learning of the trip was a new life philosophy.

I call it The Swerve.

To swerve is to change direction suddenly. The premise of The Swerve is to pick a direction and be open to leaving the path. When traveling, research all possibilities and then under-plan the time, choosing one or two intended highlight of the day. While heading towards the destination, the intent is to be open to what’s around and willing to leave the path in service of our own feelings. Choosing to swerve down an interesting street might lead to an unknown cafe or hidden vintage store. That might open other possibility. Alternatively, it might be a dead end but the upside is that we can always go back to our original direction.

It’s a useful method of travel but it’s also a philosophy that applies to other courses in life. In our careers, in dating, in creative work, in our health. We can set a goal, not as a destination but as a direction. Along the way, learning what we can and being open to letting our feelings influence us to new and exciting divergent paths.

The world is an exciting place with too many side roads offering possibilities we might have never expected. We’ll never find them with our faces buried in a map (or phone). Look up.

Ready? Set. Swerve.

In finishing up this refrigerator, I have been hyper-aware of my own creative process. Sometimes, this document looks like a mess, I don’t know where to begin. Sometimes, I’m struck by an idea and it writes itself. The creative process is definitely a non-linear one. But in order to feel good about my work, I usually keep track of it linearly. Counting hours, or days in a row that I’ve showed up to work, checking a box when I feel good about my contribution for the day. Our emotions love linear progress. And even when our world and our work are chaotic or cyclical or backwards, we may feel the need for linearity. It’s ok to resist it.

Thanks for taking time to read this. I hope it’s made you see things a little differently or made whatever you’re going through right now a little clearer.

As always, I love hearing any thoughts this might have stirred. And if you feel like sharing it, there’s no greater compliment.

Enjoy the chaos out there,

Jake

If someone forwarded you this, sign up for the email refrigerator here.

Because "newsletter" sounds like spam

@jakekahana | jakekahana.com

References

Chaos Theory (Wikipedia)

The Next Episode (The Atlantic)

Non-Linear Life, Linear Emotions (BiasHunter.com)

Non-Linear Life Plans (Possibility Management.com)

Ocean Waves in Sets (Live Science)